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Learning to Deal

I thought about you again last night...I think about you every night, but last night was different. I could see you in your bed as if you were right in front of me again on your last day here. Moments before you took your last breath.
  We all came in in small groups of two to say our good byes to you and you waited so patiently for your Father and your Gramma Judy and Grampa Sherod to get there to tell them good bye. When they came in the room Chris and I got up and let them come in...I shut the door behind me and moments later your Gramma Judy came back out to get me to tell me you were gone.
   I ran back in there to hold you one last time and kissed your face. Holding you close never wanting to let go.
  I relive that same moment from time to time. I don't know why but I do. On those nights when I finally close my eyes I pray I will see you and Ray walking around playing, but I see nothing. Even though I can't see you Sherod I feel a warmth come over me and I pray it is you telling me everything is ok.
  You know that Ol saying  " Time Heals all" I don't think time heals anything, I just think it makes it easier to deal with, but the wound is this there.
  I still love you and miss you just as much today as I did the first day I held you my son and the last day I kissed you good bye.

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