It has been almost 2 years since my son has past. I miss him just as much today as I did yesterday and the day he passed. I will never forget the phone call I received Aug. 4th, 2008...the day they told me he had Cancer. I can still hear the Dr.'s voice to this day as he tried to comfort me in the news I was about to receive. That day changed me life forever as well as my families.
I was working when I got that call.....I felt my world crashing around me and this heavy feeling of numbness. I was sitting at a little Diner having lunch alone when the phone rang. After I hung up from the Dr. I remember walking up to the cashier to pay for my meal. Although she just gave me my order moments before I just wanted to leave as fast as I could. I was shaking so bad I could hardly stand up straight. I just wanted to get into my car drive over to my house and hold my son. Instead I got into my car, called my mom then tried to pull myself together and went back to work. I still to this day don't know why I went back...maybe I just needed a little bit of normal in my life as I knew from this day forward things were going to change.
As the days went by I wondered how I would tell my son that he has cancer. Being a parent we are usually the bad guy that bring the bearer of bad news because we do the grounding, and telling them NO! I just didn't want to be the bearer of this BAD NEWS. I opted to say nothing at all and just let the Dr.'s tell him.. Right or Wrong that was my decision. So 2 days after that phone call we headed back up to Doernbechers Children's Hospital. My heart still heavy with pain and sadness I walked into that room with my son and my parents thinking/hoping for one moment that this is just all a big misunderstanding and that they were going to tell us his biopsy came back clean.
As the Dr.'s welcomed us into the room I felt my eyes filling up with water. Thinking how did this happen, was it something I did, how could this be happening to my son. As we all took our seats the Oncologist asked Sherod how he was doing...Sherod looked at him and told him he feels fine. Then he began to tell us about the test results. The next 3 words that came out of his mouth as he looked at my son broke my heart to peices...." You have Cancer". then he began to tell us that not only is it Cancer but it is a very Rare type of Cancer. I knew then that they had no cure for what he has.
I can still see Sherod sitting there across from me hold his Dinosaur named Ray looking for some form of comfort. I was so numb I couldn't even move and I just kept telling myself ..."get up and hold your son as close and as tight as you can" but I couldn't ...for the life of me I couldn't even move.
The room became silent and then my Dad turns to Sherod and tells him "grandpa has Cancer too...we will fight this together". Sherod sat up in his chair looked at all of us in the room and said "Hell ya we can beat this"
Over the next 17 months Sherod went through Chemo, a dozen more surgeries and Radiation treatment. That fall Sherod started the 9th grade in High School. Despite his week long rounds of Chemotherapy and getting sick for days after each treatment. He continued to go to school and became the Manager of the R.A. Long Football team. On October 29, of 2008 the team gave Sherod a Jersey of his own and told him he was going to join the team on the field for the Coin Toss. His teammates as well as his friends and family knew he was not going to give up without a fight.
Sherod and I became closer than we ever have for more than just the obvious reasons. He still wanted me to let him stay the night with his friends and go play when he was feeling good. He would remind me from time to time that he isn't dead and I need to let him live a normal life for as long as he can.
As Feb. rolled came we were told by the Dr.'s that they have done all they can for Sherod and they will have to stop the Chemo treatments. I knew time was closing in on us.
If I could have one wish that day I would have wished I was the one with the Cancer instead of my son.