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A Challenging Day

Well today turned out to be an ok day. Yesterday was a little challenging. When someone asks me "so how many kids do you have". I still pause for a second and then I explain with "well I had 3 but lost one in Dec. 09 to cancer".  The response is usually the same "oh I didn't know I'm so sorry"...and you know  it's really ok, because how would know.  
   I guess we never  think about things like this until our child is no longer here, and then it becomes so difficult knowing what to say.
  I hear allot of my friends talk about what there kids are doing and how they are going to miss them when they go off to College or move away to another state for work or whatever it may be. I just sit back and think I wish I was having that kind of problem. Then I could still come visit you and talk with you on the phone. Even to hear your voice and for you to tell me your ok from time to time would be good enough sometimes....but your number doesn't show up on mommies phone anymore bud. I can't hear your voice and the only thing that tells me your ok is my faith in God and at times that is  even tested.
  I will never stop thinking about you and how things use to be with you here. I miss you every day and I know I have allot of work left here on Earth to do. I will fulfill your dreams of one day having a Foundation that will fund kids from around the world to go to a Camp like Camp Newfriends and we will find a Cure for NF and Childhood Cancer. I will not stop fighting for you and what we started together. We will fight this NF and Childhood Cancer into extinction.
  I love you Sherod and we all miss you
            Love always and Forever
                   Your Mom

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