Aug. 4, 2012 marked 4 years since I received the phone call that would change my life forever. I try not to remember this day as a bad day, but yet it is so hard not to. I try to remember it as Dino Doozers Birthday. The day I decided as a mother I would never give up.
Time seems to have slipped away from me at times, but not a days goes by that I don't miss my son. I still find it very hard when people ask "so how many kids do you have" or when I see a family gathered around laughing and playing around. I wish I had this....I wish I had my family together again.
People tell me that I am strong....I'm not strong by any mings. I'm just a mom who has other children to take care of and I have to do what I have to do to get through the day just like everyone els. Sherod was the strong one. No matter how hurt he was or how tired he gave his all everyday .... even his last day.
Child loss is probably one of the hardest things in life as a parent. It leaves a void in your heart and in your sole. You have to deal with it every day and every night. You never get a break from it and it never goes away. I know I put a smile on my face and people think I'm doing just fine. When in reality I'm still crying every day and the pain is so great sometimes I can't bare it. So I tend to hide from it.
I find that helping other families has really helped me, but at the same time I pray that there comes a time were someone will help me. I'm still very lost and very alone. I still hurt and simple things in life are just not so simple any more.
I can say that I am a different woman from all my experience as a mother and a mother minus one. I Thank God every day that he gives me to continue to do what I do and for the ones who stand by me.